Pay it forward with potty humour

If you live in Dartmouth or Cole Harbour, you may — and there’s really no way to sugarcoat this — wake up to find a toilet sitting in the middle of your front lawn in the near future. But don’t poo-poo it straight away as trash, or someone’s idea of a sick joke, because it’s actually a chance for you to help your community help another community in Haiti.

Every year for the past several years, members of the Hillside Wesleyan Church have traveled to Babaco in Port au Prince in Haiti, to volunteer their time and money to help the community there build skills and infrastructure. It costs around $1,800 per person to make this trip possible, and typically, their main fundraising event is the Hillside to Haiti 5k Run in May.

But this year, the Hillside to Haiti 5k Run organizer, Paula-lynn Duke, had an idea that stunk of a great, fun way to get the community involved in raising a little extra money for the trip — and so the Hillside to Haiti Brotherhood of the Traveling Toilet was born.

“The toilet fundraiser idea was actually something that I had overheard a couple years ago, somebody had done it for Habitat for Humanity,” says Duke, who will be going on her first mission to Haiti with her 17-year-old son. “I thought it was interesting, so I googled it, and apparently it’s a thing.”

So, a local church group literally dumps a colourful, cantankerous commode on your property — how exactly does that help them raise money to get to Haiti? It’s simple — if you want that toilet off your lawn, you’ve gotta pay.

“For $5, you just call the number [on the attached note], we’ll come take the toilet back,” says Duke. It can be as simple as that, but the real fun starts when you tack on more bucks to get your friends involved.

“For $10,” adds Duke, “we’ll take the toilet, and you can nominate somebody else. And for $15, we take the toilet, you can nominate somebody else, and insure yourself, so that the toilet doesn’t come back to you.”

You’re not misreading this, dear reader — Duke will literally clandestinely sneak a painted potty onto your property in the dead of night, and then you’re expected to pay for the privilege to have this heinous deed undone. This is some guerrilla-style lawn-care we’re talking about here (and take it from me — as part of researching this story, I myself helped leave a latrine in someone’s front yard. If you found a toilet on your lawn around Dec. 8, sorry!)

You would think that this sort of fundraising campaign might draw the ire of the people whose lawns have been unwittingly transformed into a water closet, but the reality has been far from that.

“Most people were 100 per cent in love with the idea,” says Duke, who says that they’ve only fielded one complaint since the campaign began in December. “They think it was the greatest thing.”

“First, it was kind of full-fledged shock, because it was night time when I noticed it … I thought, ‘Oh my God, someone put their garbage on my lawn!’” says Monique Gillespie, who was relieved to find the attached note detailing the fundraiser. “We’re out there with the flashlight, reading the piece of paper, and I thought it was actually quite cool … It’s absolutely hilarious.”

“[It was] scary! I went out in the morning to get ready to go to work, and there was a toilet on my lawn,” says Robert Francis, who, along with his wife Sherilyn, were the first ’dumpees’ visited by the traveling toilet. “I love any idea that’s outside of the box, getting away from traditional ways of going and asking people for money.”

“[Duke] was going to come get it right away, and I was like, ‘no, I want to keep it for a little while,’” says Sherilyn, then, in unison with her husband, “We were told 24 hours, and we wanted our 24 hours.”

Francis has actually been on one of the past missions to Haiti with Hillside Wesleyan, and he says that the money raised in fundraisers like this isn’t just going to be mailed in a cheque, or otherwise frivolously used – every cent they raise that’s not used to get them there is used directly within the local economy.

“As a team, we do not bring back any money,” says Francis, who last year taught the villagers carpentry skills that could then help them find means of employment within their region. “I don’t know the words to describe how much it means to the people of Babaco. It’s beyond description.”

Currently, the fundraiser has raised about $150 towards the cause, but Duke is hoping that, realistically, they will secure at least $500 before their trip in March. Though, when she dreams big, Duke has an even bigger figure in mind.

“In my wildest dreams, I would love to see $5,000,” says Duke. “That would be great, because that would really ensure that everyone on the team gets there and gets things done.”

The traveling toilet is going to mainly travel within Dartmouth and Cole Harbour circles, but even if their porcelain throne never finds its way to you, you can still support the cause by donating directly to the Hillside Wesleyan Church.

But what should you do if you do find a toilet on your lawn?

“Laugh, and figure out who they’re going to send it to,” says Gillespie, who is eager to see if she spots the toilet in anyone else’s lawn in her neighbourhood. “And pull out your wallet!”

“I would say, ‘congratulations,’ because it’s an honour to be nominated as someone who likes to give back to their community,” says Duke. “To wake up with a toilet on your lawn means that you’re one of those people.”